Love and Money
Remarks like ‘I want to marry rich’ or ‘I will marry for love and not for money’ are often uttered and as a matter of fact many people end up doing exactly that. In reality it will be difficult to divorce the two concepts of love and money within a relationship. Money does impact on relationships. Sometimes the impact is positive, but sometimes the impact is negative. Money can cause a lot of friction within a relationship. Several marriages end up in divorce as a result of money.
The lack of money can cause serious trouble within any relationship and often love is not enough to carry a couple through the uphill battles of trying to raise children, paying the bills and trying to survive. Another money challenge, potentially causing even more friction than not having money, transpires where couples do have money, but they have totally different views about money.
People’s views about money and how they treat money are to a great extent formed during their childhood. What parents teach children about money and the experience of having money or not having money during childhood years play a big role in how people react towards money when they are grown-up. Beliefs and values, thinking patterns, emotions as well as life experiences also play a role in people’s behaviour towards money.
Partners having different views about money and the value they attach to money will definitely result in friction and often financial stress too. One partner might be selfish or treat money with respect while the other partner might be a big spender. One partner might be conservative by nature when it comes to investments while the other partner is an opportunist and will jump at any money making scheme often ending up losing hard-earned money. While one partner might be comfortable living in an average neighbourhood, driving an average car and going to the beach for holiday; the other partner might consider driving expensive cars, sending the kids to private schools and splashing out on overseas trips and luxuries as a necessity. Different earning brackets can also result in tension. Do you recognise some of these scenarios in your relationship?
Money does impact on relationships and can often supersede love if the problem is not resolved in a mutually agreeable manner. The best solution for couples is to talk about money. Make an effort to understand why your partner is behaving in a certain way and also why you are behaving in a certain way when it comes to money matters. Discuss these different behaving patterns and how it impacts on the relationship and your financial wellbeing. Raise potential concerns when it occurs and don’t wait until it has evolved into a serious issue. Sit together to do financial planning. Involve each other when making financial decisions that will affect the family. Set financial goals that the whole family can relate to and buy into. Finally get everybody on the same bus on your journey towards financial wellness.
Written by Ronel Jooste
CA(SA), Financial Consultant & Coach, Blogger and Speaker
Contact Ronel: firstname.lastname@example.org
For more information about my financial wellness programmes visit the website
Why is Money Important?
By Ronel Jooste
CA (SA) and Financial Coach
Contact Ronel: email@example.com
Money cannot buy happiness, time or health. Yes that is true and we all know that, but we can also not discard the important role money plays in our lives. Taking care of our financial wellbeing is as important as our physical and emotional wellbeing.
Considering Maslow’s hierarchy of needs we need money to fulfil our basic needs for food, water, a house to live in and to provide for our family. We need money to take better care of our health and to pay for proper education. In short we need money to pay the monthly bills.
When finances are tight it can put unnecessary pressure on our relationships and increase our stress levels, which again can have a negative impact on our health. Studies have shown that theft, crime, illiteracy, poor health, broken marriages, children with behavioural problems and poor performance at work can all be a result of personal financial difficulties.
Apart from fulfilling our basic needs, money also plays a vital role in creating the lifestyle we dream of. We need money for that home cinema; Mediterranean cruise; new house; new car… To create the lifestyle we dream of, we need to have a proper savings plan; make good investment choices and build our wealth portfolio. Becoming debt free as early as possible is crucial in creating wealth and to create that dream lifestyle.
Sometimes we tend to plan properly for the shorter term but we forget to plan for our retirement and for that event we all rather ignore – death. Yes we need money to retire comfortably and it is a known fact that in South Africa and world-wide a huge percentage of the population cannot retire comfortably. Making provision for our retirement through pension funds and retirement annuities, is an important part of our financial plan that needs to be revised and adjusted on an annual basis.
We might not need money once we are dead, but our loved ones definitely do. Many people leave their loved ones in severe financial distress when they die. We should ensure we have proper funeral cover and life cover in place; and that our wills are up to date especially when big life events occur for example getting married or divorced or having children.
We should teach our children the importance of money at a young age. Children who understand basic financial concepts like saving, investing and financial independence will make better financial decisions when they are grown-up. Start building our wealth at a young age will become extremely powerful as we grow older. The time value of money can never be over-emphasised.
Don’t become addicted to money and don’t ever make the mistake to believe that money will buy you happiness. However don’t underestimate the important role money plays in our daily lives either. Having a proper financial plan and goals is as important as having an exercise plan and following a well-balanced diet. Your financial wellbeing directly contributes to your overall wellbeing. Take good care of it.